I made a lot of plans about a day and a half ago regarding meal planning, exercise, etc. I will confess these plans went out to window at a certain point when I had a certain tragedy where I lost a large number of personal items in my purse as I was riding the public bus (my main mode of transportation).
I had run into a former neighbor of mine who was feeling the need to be her usual meddlesome self (no rudeness meant here my me, but most those who know her would agree). I got almost suckered into all of it right before I got off the bus only to notice I had literally walked off with my art case (I was going to my art group, something I planned to do instead of volunteer that day — perhaps this was my error. Who knows?) and with my white hoodie but without my purse. I tried to run after the small bus, but I was wearing big clunky clogs and besides which the bus was already down the street and wouldn’t see me. I got to the office of the place where I was going where I used a phone to call the bus company. They got ahold of the driver of that line but said no one had reported a purse found. They said to call back in the morning, but I knew they were not open on Saturdays. I called anyway, but it was no use. To avoid credit fraud, I had my cards cancelled, but there were a lot of other things in there — some irreplaceable, such as one small pink mole book (a specific type of journal) that I had recently purchased, some checkbooks, my keys (semi-replaceable), my cell phone (replaceable but the data on the phone is not), cash, you know the usual purse that contains someone’s whole life.
I was so frustrated with myself for this. I fell back into some unhealthy eating patterns. I used to have an old habit of using too much butter-like spread on things (I use Earth Balance, a vegan butter substitute). Saturday (technically yesterday, since I’m writing either late at night or early morning, however you look at it) I went with my husband and his friends and got a Burger King veggie burger as well as paying for everyone else’s meal. It wasn’t very expensive. I haven’t been tracking well, but I’m certain it was high in calories. Also, the thing includes cheese and they ignored my request of no mayonnaise. I had slight indigestion afterward so I lay down at my husband’s house when I got there. Later, when I ate dinner there (at my husband’s living situation, there is a community dining situation where they provide dinners), they were serving hamburgers and chili dogs. I naturally do not eat meat, but I improvised with a cheese sandwich on the hamburger buns. High calories and I did have the fries (from frozen probably baked, though) with ketchup on the fries, Kern’s horchata to drink (love horchata so it’s hard for me to resist even though it has sugar) and a side of seasoned cauliflower and broccoli (most healthy part of the meal besides some fresh fruit I had before — watermelon and cantaloupe).
I noticed a fluctuation in an upward direction as far as weight at the end of the day, but there are natural fluctuations all the time. Really, it is best to find a particular time of day to always weigh as well as probably just once a week unless someone is able to weigh more often without having any particular self esteem issues related to the fluctuations. I haven’t quite gotten to this point yet, something that is important to admit. I think I should have a weighing date and stick to that for my own sanity.
I have become derailed somewhat this week, though. I can see it. My eating patterns are just not what I would prefer. The nutrient density was not ideal in my opinion.
The night before (on Friday night), I made some 7 grain Kashi rice pilaf that I picked up at a local market that has a lot of variety. The box goes a really long way. There are separately packed packets within the box as well. The pilaf is without flavoring, so you add your own seasonings, veggies or whatever else. The serving suggestions are as a base to stir fries, stuffings or even dessert. Initially, when I first got this product, I used it like a savory meal, adding vegetables and light seasonings such as Mrs. Dash. One other time, I did something more exotic with turmeric, fresh sweet lemon, garlic salt, some Earth Balance, a leftover mixture that was originally a soup (containing garbanzo beans [also called chickpeas], bok choy cabbage, part of a red medium spicy pepper, yellow onion, some seasonings) all mixed together. The result made a delicious lunch. That was earlier in the week. I had trouble with portion control with that meal since I could easily have saved the second half for dinner, but I ate both portions in the same meal. It’s something I’m always working on.
The next time I use this stuff, I might combine the peppers with some black beans and more garbanzo beans (after soaking), paprika, chili seasoning, cumin, some more of the red medium pepper, garlic powder (not the salt unless I really need it), maybe some onion. I think all that would be good together. I’m almost out of vegetables as far as the green ones I would cook. I would have to use up the part of my salad vegetables that is still good. Completely plausible possibly, that is.
Excuse me also for the randomness of this post. It is mostly a musing in the wee hours. I got home much earlier in the evening from my husband’s, planned to get to bed early because we are going to a new church near his home, got settled in, almost went to sleep but realized I left some untidiness around (more than my usual which is a fair amount), then I got up put some soapy water over the dishes so they’d be easy to finish in the morning and I had some caffeinated instant Folgers that I have here mostly for my husband. I never drink caffeine normally, so I’ll have to let myself wind down a bit. So excuse me for the randomness, gentle readers. Also, don’t worry. I shall be fine. At least it is still the weekend, and tomorrow afternoon when I get back, I can do laundry while I take a nap.
For the sake of readability, let’s get into the title of this entry. Life doesn’t always play by the rules — but who really makes the rules? What are the rules of life? Are there always the same rules or different ones different days, different hours or even different minutes of the day? Are there absolutely correct actions? This is not quite so much what I was thinking when I wrote this title. If you wish to think about these things, you are more than welcome, and I am personally interested in such philosophical questions of course. Still, this is not the intended subject of this particular blog.
More to the point is that when we try to set up our own rules to how our lives should go, it seems that oftentimes there are impediments to these supposedly good intentions that make these original choices seem like less of a good idea than we might have originally thought. Also, it might also appear that our original choices were good ones and perfectly able to be executed. However, there are circumstances (like missing purses or the even more tragic things — deaths, broken hearts and lost life dreams) that may suck up all of our original very good intentions. What do we do when these events make us lose our path?
Some people tell me that I should accept my situations in life and that will make them easier to live with. Also, the most healthy thing to do is to accept life on life’s terms. This attitude makes mindfulness and emotional health much more attainable. It’s not always the easiest thing to do, and I personally struggle with it on almost a constant basis.
There is a mode of therapy that occurs in both groups and on an individual basis called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), which includes four modules: Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance … and two others that my foggy brain cannot recall. It’s interesting stuff, and it can be very helpful for teaching a person to address life’s issues without making more problems in addition to the ones someone might already be trying to address. That is the intended purpose. It’s like if you eat your emotions, as they say, you are creating an added problem to the emotional one you are facing because you are possibly introducing obesity or weight-related health troubles to the emotional ones you are trying to suppress. This is counter productive.
Patience is key in all of this as is positive self talk, gentleness around one’s personal issues.
For the close of this entry, which has contained a lot of rambling, although I hope it can still be at least entertaining and not boring (perhaps helpful), I will include an affirmation to myself. Affirmations are positive statements about oneself that are given as a statement to increase feelings of self worth. They are good for motivation and a lot of other things, and they can be a very simple yet effective tool.
Before my affirmation, I’ll share something I was taught about good self care. I was once told in group therapy (a very expensive one that I pray I do not need to return to again) that the Golden Rule can be reversed to something that is at least equally powerful yet in no way sacrilegious while emphasizing an often-overlooked element. The converse or reversal is this: “Do unto yourself as you would do unto others.” This is the reverse of “Do unto others as you would do unto yourself.” It has the same meaning but a different order and hence a different place of emphasis. I’m sure you all catch the drift on this.
My affirmation for tonight: “Life will hand me everything it wants. I will do the best I can with all of it, and that is sufficient. I am not deficient in any way based on my imperfections. I am human, and I deserve loving kindness as does everyone.”
Good night, and thanks for staying with me if you read the whole thing. 🙂
- Burger King pulls out of ‘slave labour’ job scheme (thesun.co.uk)
- Call Them Chickpeas or Garbanzos, Hummus Starts on The Farm (jplovescotton.com)
- Sun-Dried Tomato Hummus (veganurbanite.com)